I'm a little unsure of what to do with myself right now, mostly because I have such a finite amount of time left in my city--time in which I have to cram in so many goodbyes, so many "I-won't-forget-you-please-talk-to-me-on-the-internets," and, I feel, tie up so many loose ends. It's a weird, bittersweet feeling. I spend evenings with my friends and know that I will not see them again for at least a year--maybe longer.

My city never seemed so beautiful to me before, especially in the early evening, when the sun's light is rich and mellow and the air seems thick with promise. Everyone is laughing, having drinks on the sidewalk, wearing chic sunglasses and basking in the midsummer loveliness. How much will I miss this place, when I am gone? I can't imagine calling another town home, but somehow I know I will; and at this very time next year, I may even be sad to leave, to come back here. This place, this city, will not be my home after I leave. It will be a place to come back to, but my home will be nowhere, less clearly defined than it has ever been before. I will have to make my own home again, and it will not be easy.

But I am so excited. There is so much promise, so much life to be lived, waiting for me in another city a continent away. I am prepared for the difficulties of life in another culture, of homesickness for Americana, of being unsure of my place and my role in things. I am prepared for these things, and yet, I find that--after all--I am a little scared. But it is more of a giddiness, a feeling of release mixed with trepidation. It is hard to explain.

And I find (in this pensive mood I seem to have lapsed into) that I love so many people. I have always thought of my circle as being small, comprised of a few people who matter the most to me. But now I realize that there are so many people I care about here. I care about everyone I have ever met, befriended and been changed by. I am thankful for them all, even the ones who are no longer my friends, whom I have traded unkind words with, even people who I barely know anymore. They have shaped me, made me who I am today, and I am stronger for it. Oddly, I catch myself reminiscing about the good times I've had with people who I haven't seen or been friends with in years. This is what uprooting myself engenders. Fond memories and an overwhelming sense of peace. With myself, with the people around me, with my situation.

Maybe I'll use this last week here to tell everybody I know how cool they are, how full they've made my life. That would be fun.

Favorite Winter Recipes

I love winter food. It's so good, and it makes me feel warm and happy inside. Something about eating hearty, warm meals and sipping hot beverages makes me feel at peace with the world. At least for one night. So I decided to share the love. Here are a few of my favorite things to make in winter. I highly recommend you try them, as you won't be disappointed.

Spiced Cider (Non-Alcoholic)

Really, there are few things so satisfying to me as a hot cup of spiced cider on a cold, snowy afternoon.

1 bottle apple cider or unfiltered apple juice (I like the Gravenstein kind from Trader Joe's)

1 cinnamon stick

3 to 5 cloves (depending on how much you like them--I usually go for four)

1/2 a nutmeg seed

3 to 5 allspice seeds (again, depending on how spicy you want this to be)

Put everything in a pot, and bring to a boil. Turn heat under the pot to low, and let steep for as long as you'd like (just remember to eventually take it off the flame). And it continues to steep, even without heat--it just gets better and better as the days go by. Not that you'll have it for more than two or three.

Nut Crescent Cookies

When I baked Christmas cookies for friends and family this year, I made these babies, along with some lemon sugar cookies. Everybody agreed that the nut crescents stole the show. They are almost pure butter and pecan, and really, what could be better? These are from Cook's Illustrated, a magazine that is usually spot-on in the baking department.

2 cups whole pecans, chopped fine
2 cups bleached all-purpose flour
¾ teaspoon salt
½ lb. (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
½ cup superfine sugar
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 ½ cups confectioners’ sugar for rolling cooled cookies

1. Adjust oven racks to upper- and lower-middle positions and heat oven to 325 degrees. Mix 1 cup chopped nuts, flour, and salt in medium bowl; set aside. In workbowl of a food processor fitted with a steel blade, process remaining chopped nuts until the texture of course cornmeal, 10 to 15 seconds (do not overprocess; you should have about ¾ cup ground nuts); stir into flour mixture and set aside. (To finely grind chopped nuts by hand, roll them between two large sheets of plastic wrap with rolling pin, applying moderate pressure, until broken down to course cornmeal-like texture).
2. Either by hand or with electric mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and creamy, about 1 ½ minutes with mixer set at medium; beat in vanilla. Scrape sides and bottom of bowl with spatula; add flour mixture and beat at low speed until dough just begins to come together but still looks scrappy, about 15 seconds. Scrape sides and bottom of bowl again; continue beating at low speed until dough is cohesive, 6 to 9 seconds longer. Do not overbeat.
3. Working with about 1 tablespoon dough at a time, roll dough into 1 ¼-inch balls. Roll each ball between hands into rope that measures 3 ½ inches long. Shape ropes into crescents on ungreased cookie sheets, spacing them 1 to 1 ½ inches apart.
4. Bake, reversing position of cookie sheets (from top rack to bottom and front to back) halfway through baking, until tops are pale golden and bottoms are just beginning to brown, 17 to 19 minutes. Cool cookies on sheets about 2 minutes before transferring them to a cooling rack.
5. Cool cookies to room temperature, about 30 minutes. Working with three or four cookies at a time, roll cookies in confectioners’ sugar to coat them thoroughly. Gently shake off excess. (They can be stored in an airtight container up to 5 days.)