After the initial three weeks of seeing, dining with and talking to all of the friends I hadn't seen in a year, my life is returning to normal, I am not planning as much with people, and I'm basically spending my time working, vegging out, or thinking about next year. When I think about it, I feel that I am leading a completely unproductive existence--on the other hand, work provides the illusion of actually having accomplished something, and I'm beginning to realize how great it feels just to be home. Every night that I don't go out and overexert myself trying to be social, I feel this amazing sense of satisfaction. I can sit at home. At home. Not in a foreign country.

And that is why I have decided that in two years, I will go back to Europe again. Because this slipping into the predictable and safe, it scares me. It is not how one grows. It is not how one makes a mark upon the world. I can at least attempt, however insignificant I may be in the grand scheme of things, to do something that can bring about change in my time. I can try. I can try to make things count. But I will not get anywhere by sitting at home, thinking about things I could cook and contemplating where to buy the best quality sheets at the cheapest prices. Why am I not filling my time with important, culturally enriching activities? I need to get going again. I need to stop gravitating toward comfort zones, because that's how I get lazy. Two years, that's my goal. To years to get back to Europe and, hopefully, study there for at least another year.

All I need to do is earn scholarships, grants and a few thousand bucks before then. Good luck to me.

In other news, did I mention how lovely zucchini is? No? Well. It's great. Especially sauteed in olive oil and white wine with salt, fresh oregano, marjoram and chili flakes, which is how I cooked it a few nights ago. Seriously, eat this. Plain, or over long pasta with a dusting of parmesan. You won't regret it.